Detention Diaries: Exploits of Rose Weasley
by Unlegally Insane
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, little Rose Weasley is a troublemaker. WILL NEVER BE FINISHED. Read at own risk.
1. Detention Diary 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_Author's Note: So, Fred and George wouldn't know a lot of Muggle references, so I couldn't use them. Little Rose Weasley, usually portrayed as perfect, would know them, due to her mother. So, here is my spin on Rose Weasley._

**Detention Number One:**

So, I really shouldn't love to prank people. Look who my parents are, rule-abiding Hermione Granger-Weasley and Ron "Can't Take a Joke" Weasley. I should have no sense of humor. Well, that is dead wrong.

Headmistress McGonagall informed me that I was the first person to ever get a detention before stepping into Hogwarts. Uncle George will be so jealous when I tell him.

So here I am, sitting in the Headmistress' Office, contemplating my misdeed. It really isn't worth a detention. Honestly, I didn't hurt, maim, kill, scar, or torture anyone. It isn't my fault I didn't know the Giant Squid is attracted to perfume. I guess I should explain.

As we, we being my cousin Albus Severus Potter and myself, sat on the Hogwarts Express, I grew bored. Al was too busy sulking over whether or not he'd be in Slytherin to talk to me. So, I began to think. I decided that to occupy my time, I would use my brand new Potions kit to make a perfume. After a few fun explosions, I found a scent I enjoyed.

It was a mix of bitter oranges, cinnamon, vanilla and musk. Unfortunately, to give it a nice violet color, I added some random, odorless ingredient. I put the perfume on immediately. As we were crossing the Lake, the added ingredient became clear. Giant Squid mating pheromones. As the Squid rushed to the surface, we all panicked. When it became clear my perfume was the center of all of the problems, I was quickly removed from the Lake, via _accio_ spell, and sent here.

It isn't my fault they put that stuff in my Potion's Kit. And it isn't my fault they were purple. And it isn't my fault purple is my favorite color. Well, maybe that's my fault. But I don't deserve this detention!

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**Detention Number 2:**

I maintain this detention is Mum's fault. If she hadn't insisted I get a firm background in Muggle culture, this never would have happened. Uncle Harry always said myths have a base in fact. This is clearly not my fault. I mean, call something forbidden and it immediately appeals to people. Like the Forbidden Fruit! Eve ate it, after the snake told her too. So, therefore Eve is a Parselmouth, and not a sadistic, ignorant woman who condemned all of us to periods and child labor.

I apologize for that, Mum made me take Bible classes.

Anyway, if you forbid something, everyone wants to do it. Take my Aunt Ginny for an example. When she was in Hogwarts, all the guys knew her brothers would kill them if they looked at her, she was 'forbidden.' Yet, she managed to have healthy relationships with three guys while in school. But I am getting off topic. What I mean to say is that I am in no way, shape, or form responsible for my actions. What did I do? Oh, that is a good question.

It all begins with a memory of my childhood. I remembered the story Mum used to read to me, about Winnie-the-Pooh. He lived in the Hundred Acre Wood. The Forbidden Forest sure looked like a hundred acres. Who wouldn't believe that somewhere in it lived a yellow bear, a pink piglet, a crotchety rabbit, and a wise owl? So, I decided to go exploring.

I talked my way out of trouble with the centaurs. They are all big softies at heart. I told them the stories about Pooh, and they decided to allow me into the Forest as "Official Storyteller to the Centaurs." Anyway, as I went deeper into the Forest, the spookier things got. I think it was about nine o'clock at night.

That's when they discovered I was missing. After a quick talk with Al, who told them he heard me muttering about the Hundred Acre Wood, a search party was set up. In about twenty minutes, I was taken out of the Forest. I was doing fine.

I faced down an Acromantula, with minimal damage to both of us; repelled a Blast-Ended Skrewt with no damage to me, though its pride may be hurt; and, as previously mentioned, was able to make friends with the centaurs. Honestly, I can take care of myself. But, the teachers were mad, and I swear, Headmistress McGonagall nearly had a coronary when I told her why I was in the Forbidden Forest. Maybe she'll be more lenient after I search the Black Lake for SpongeBob Squarepant's house. That is big enough to be the sea. Better go research Bubble-Head Charm.


	2. Rose and Audrey

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Rose sat in the Common Room, away from everyone else. The other girls didn't like her, thought she was too much trouble. She didn't show it, but it hurt her feelings, that they didn't even want to get to know her. She only had her family, and even though they were amazing, she wanted real friends.

Using her peripheral vision, she watched the girls chat. They were curled up in front of the fire, cheeks flushed from the heat. She wanted to be in their circle. But they didn't like her, so she couldn't join. Unfair!

Instead of moping about, Rose began to do her homework. It wasn't due for another three days, but anything was better than being ignored. She began her Transfiguration essay, about turning matches into needles. After about five inches though, she began to get bored.

Gazing over the Lake, she let her imagination wander. What if SpongeBob Squarepants really did live there? She had thought about it as a joke, but now, she honestly wondered. Could it be possible? Rose hadn't found the Hundred Acre Woods in the Forbidden Forest, but she was forcibly removed too soon.

Besides, swimming wasn't against the rules. She began to plot, figuring out ways she could explore the bottom of the Lake. Her musings were interrupted, by a girl her age.

"Excuse me, we haven't been introduced." The girl stood in front of her, blatantly ignoring the glares of the other girls. "Those girls are mean, and since you aren't with them, you must be decent."

"How do you know I am not a serial killer?" Rose asked saucily, raising an eyebrow. The other girl burst out laughing.

"Forgive me for saying so, but you look too nice. Besides, they are still alive, aren't they?" She plopped down next to Rose. "The name's Audrey Cooke." Rose looked her over. Medium height, brown hair, brown eyes. She seemed to be fresh, ready to do anything.

"Rose Weasley. So, do you like pranks?" Rose replied, brushing her orangey-red hair out of her eyes. The other girl nodded. "Good, wait till you hear what I did…"

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The two girls ran around the Common Room. The older students looked on in fright. So that is what happened when you gave two hyper eleven year olds sugar. They bounced around, laughing wildly.

The other girls in their year looked on in disgust. Even though Gryffindor was the home of the brave, that didn't stop the girls from being prissy. Sometimes, people wondered how most of the girls ended up in Gryffindor, and not say, Hufflepuff. These eleven year old girls were already wearing makeup, and the boys weren't even interested, at least, not yet.

Victoire Weasley watched her baby cousin having a good time. She was glad Rose had made a friend. Victoire knew how hard school could be without good friends, and feared for Rose when she saw the girls in her year. Thank goodness this Audrey girl separated from the crowd. She could see that the girls would be best friends, for life.

Rose and Audrey frolicked around, enjoying the rush the sugar gave them. Seriously, what eleven year old doesn't? Giggling, they began to play cards. After the deck blowing up five times, darn Exploding Snap, they were having a thoroughly good time. What is more fun than Go Fish, when the cards burst into flame at random increments?

"Hey, Rose, did I tell you about the time I dyed my brother's hair green?" Audrey asked, looking over her cards.

"Yeah, I need to try that." Rose replied. It was the start of something beautiful, the next destructive duo. These two girls were going to give Fred and George a run for their money.


	3. Detention Diary 2

**Disclaimer: Me not rich. Me not famous. Me no own.**

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**Detention Number 3:**

Okay, so Audrey and I thought it would be okay. We didn't go anywhere forbidden, honestly. She even found ways to make it safe. We spent hours reading in the library, finding ways to breathe underwater. In all honesty, this was ridiculously safe. We knew the ways to get rid of grindylows, we know the proper merpeople etiquette. we would be perfectly fine.

besides, Mum always said, don't go into other people's homes until you know all the rules. We knew the rules. Like, I wasn't going to bite my thumb at any mermaid. That's just dumb. I have better sense than I did when I told that lady I thought her house was ugly.

And it was ugly! Purple, orange, hot pink, and black should not all be on the same wall. And the other walls should be red, blue, olive and brown. Seriously. But nooooo, they have to think I am still that dumb.

We even had three house elves on lifeguard duty! They were under orders to come rescue us if it looked like we were in trouble. They can get you out of anything! We would have been fine with them watching over us.

But no! We can't explore the Black Lake for SpongeBob's house. Seriously, it is ridiculous! We were safe! Bubble Head charms are so useful. And they are fourth year material! We should be rewarded for our advanced use of magic. No, we get sent to detention! I demand an appeal to higher authority! I am taking this to the Court of Supremes. Or whatever they have in the United States.

So, Audrey and I decided to see if SpongeBob lived in the bottom of the Black lake. It would be so cool if he actually existed! So, we went swimming. I like the merpeople. They have pretty scales. All shiny… I want to be a mermaid. I would swim around and sing. Oooooh, I would collect human things, and make a deal with an evil witch to turn (back) into a human. But I would lose my voice...

Sorry, I got on a Little Mermaid tangent. I love that movie, and musical. I love it. It was my favorite movie as a kid.

Anyway, we were swimming around, when McGonagall asked the house elves what they were doing. When they told her, she flipped out! She did some spell, and dragged us out. So unfair. We didn't finish searching the Lake. Audrey thinks it doesn't count as the sea. But if we didn't finish, we'll never find out. This school stifles creative thought! I demand creativity! Audrey and I should bring culture into this school.

**Detention Number 4:**

So, breaking out into song is a bad idea. But, I was listening to Muggle music with Audrey, and everything everyone said reminded me of a song! This school hates creativity! Seriously, what is wrong with a little culture? Nothing, nothing I say! We were doing people a service. We were enlightening them! I want to be a lawyer... I'd be awesome! Objection!

I mean, when you hear, "We are going to have a quiz _tomorrow_," wouldn't you think of _Annie_? Well, me and Audrey did. So we began to sing 'Tomorrow.' Well, sing might not be the right word. Belt out, outrageously loud and off key might be better. Anyway, Professor Sprout just told us to be quiet. So we continued to sing, quietly. The girls around us heard, but not Sprout. Well, we might have cast a spell to prevent her from hearing... But that totally isn't the reason.

Then, in Transfiguration, she told us this is an elaborate branch of magic. So, I might have serenaded Audrey, with 'Elaborate Lives,' from _Aida_. I actually tried to sound nice. And I think I did. Not like that mattered to Minnie, oh that is McGonagall. I gave her a nickname! But 'Elaborate Lives is such a great song. All slow and pretty, and nice.

Anyway, she gave us detention for disturbing the peace. If she thinks _that_ is disturbing the general; peace, wait till she sees what I have planned next! Insert evil cackle here. I like evil cackles... they are so pretty. And, I will strike at the heart of the castle, the delightfully gloomy basements.

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**Author's Note: I love music, so I had to incorporate some! More music to come. And sorry for updating a day late. I'll try to make it up to you! I promised a new chapter, but the creative juices are not flowing, due to the fact I am under a lot of pressure. It sounded so forced, so I am putting off writing. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!  
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